Principles

It looks like I won’t be learning exactly what I was hoping I would at this new gig. The shop uses Joomla, a CMS long left in the dust by most of the development community. It’s going to take me a while to learn it before I can even skillfully design for it. Le sigh. It’s a job.

Designer

It is spring now. We had some fleeting glimpses earlier this year, only to have our hopes dashed by day-long snow storms. But it’s no longer a tease – as of today there is no snow left on the ground.

I had been feeling pretty down last night. It’s been a while looking for work, and things weren’t looking great. Being in the position of needing a job, and needing training for a better job is not an enviable one. Last night, I was seriously considering a survey call center position I’ve seen in several places recently. The hours and pay suck, but I’m sure they would hire me.

This morning I fired off an email to a position doing web design in Rocky Hill. I got a call ten minutes later, and we moved forward. I now have a job doing web design where I’ll be able to keep learning and advancing my skills, while not having to compromise on the pay. It’s idyllic, and I know I’m going to need to work my ass off to earn my keep. I’m ready to learn. It’s time to sell out hard. This is the only marketable skill I have and I need to squeeze it for all it’s worth.

I’ve made my choice

For many years now I’ve struggled with which direction to take my life – devote it to service of others, or keep my life to myself. I’m going with the latter. I don’t want my self-worth to be tied to what others think of me, and that’s the metric I would use if I was a public servant. I’m going to do what makes me happy, and I’m ok with that.

It’s no surprise, really. I’ve spent much more time thinking about this kind of a life than the alternative. Back when I was in college I was doing the math on how to live on as little as possible (figures that I still use daily). I still want to retire by the time I’m thirty. I still think it’s possible.

I’ve been looking for work for about two months now, without much luck. I have a plan, and I hope I can realize it. I’m looking for a part time job, close to home, that pays a reasonable wage. I’m sticking by my usual “no sales, no retail” rule. While I work this throw-away job to make ends meet, I’ll bone up on my front-end developer skills. I’m good, but I’m just hobbyist good. To get hired doing Web Design I’ll need a few more tricks up my sleeve. I can learn this stuff fairly quickly, and if I stick to this plan should be ready by this time next year.

If I can stay on top of my game, that’s a profession I can do from anywhere, and pays very well. I think I can be happy with that, as well. It’s a better option than going back to school to learn a trade which would take more time and money. My self-esteem has been pretty low lately, and the thought of working at a crappy part time job for a year doesn’t really help. I’ve gotten to where I am right now by striving for the big picture, and I’ll only reach it if I keep dreaming big.

This is the plan. I’m gonna make it.

Soda man

I got a job with Hosmer Mountain Soda. They found out the clerk who worked at their outlet store had been taking money from the register, and fired him. In need of someone they trusted, they called me and asked if I would be interested. I was, and started shortly after getting back to CT.

It’s an easy job that has plenty of downtime. So far I haven’t been able to use that time too constructively, but I’m starting on a few online classes. One just because it’s interesting, and the other to further develop my web design skills. I’m only doing three days a week at the Soda Shack, so the other four can be devoted to freelance web work.

Steady money from Hosmer, with opportunity for much more on my own terms, is a really nice situation to be in. We were pretty low for a while there, with problems mounting and opportunities dwindling. Friends, family, and fortitude got us through it, and things are looking up again.

There’s a newspaper clipping in the Shack of the obituary of the man who worked there for many many years. Though I don’t think he was ever an owner, he was a dedicated employee of the company, and had the epitaph ‘Soda Man’ put on his headstone. Looks like I landed a -man job after all.

Status

Nishi is working full-time for Ecoparti. I am not working. In theory, I’m using this time to make progress on the bus, but that hasn’t been the case. Money is tight, and we don’t have a lot of what we need. We’re still waiting on some parts to show up.

It’s winter, and 17 degrees outside as I write this. It’s a bit warmer in the day time, but still not friendly to bus work. Two of our three vehicles have been out of commission since June, and the third is in need of serious repair. I’ve applied for a few jobs, had an encouraging interview, but nothing has come of it. I guess it’s my turn to coast for a while. At least one of us is working.

Time is moving by too quickly. Routine is my enemy, I shall not yield. I’m starting to feel old. I feel like I should have a firm grasp of my goals, but I’m still working on getting a handle on what they are. Sometimes there’s lots of benefits to floating around adrift, but I don’t get the sense that this is one of those times.

Still Hunting

I have an interview coming up with Verizon for a job in their store.

There isn’t much available in the way of jobs I want / am qualified for. I only have two rules: no 1099 positions, and no cash registers. That’s not true, they’re more like guidelines. I’m ok with commission if there is base pay, and I’m ok with using registers every now and then, but I don’t want to live behind one. Excluding those types of jobs, most of the available positions I’m seeing require education or experience in specialized fields. Not much else.
Still looking.

There Will Be Blood

The market for waste vegetable oil is presently booming. There is a lot of money to be made, and that money is responsible for my present employment. The biodiesel market is in something of a bubble, since a competitively priced, widely available alternative exists and there exists little incentive for people to use biodiesel if it costs more than petroleum diesel. The point will be reached where waste oil suppliers are being paid the highest possible price, and incentives to switch will disappear.

But in the time being, it’s mayhem. Waste oil processing companies can get away with crazy things, and oil pirates are running around at the same time throwing a wrench in the works. We have had rival companies place locks on our containers, leave their containers in place after a client switches companies, and an ex employee of my company is running around pretending to still represent them, promising to pay exorbitant amounts in order to get oil. It is quite ridiculous. I’m not sure what to make of it.

Humbled

The job search has been eye opening. I went into it with unrealistic expectations, and was very surprised by what I found, in terms of both salary and availability. I sent out far more resumes than I can count, and was repeatedly turned down from jobs that I knew I could do well. I’m not sure why in the face of everything I had heard and seen in recent years I expected anything else, but I did. While working with the Census, I remember one of the higher-ups mentioning in a meeting the high amount of highly skilled people who were filling those positions, he said, “For example, there are three PhD’s in this room.” So while I could do those jobs well, it’s very likely someone else could do them better.

The other thing that surprised me was the dismissiveness of many companies. I guess when you’re receiving hundreds of resumes for every position, you can’t really go on anything other than a first impression. And I guess my first impression wasn’t the right one. I used a resume that had without fail guaranteed me call-backs only six months ago, and never heard back about the majority of positions I applied for. I even made a new, bulleted resume that cut out all of the fun fluff (whole sentences) that had made up my first resume. It didn’t portray a version of me that I liked, but I was trying my hardest to sell out and failing, so I really had to go all in.

And of all the jobs I could have gotten, I got one that I actually have experience doing. And I had sent them the good resume, which meant that they actually liked me, a strong indication that it would be a good fit. So I’m now employed by Connecticut BioFuels, where I am tasked with going to restaurants, and convincing them to sell their waste oil to my biodiesel-producing employers. It pays well, gives me a good deal of independence, and I don’t feel like I’ve sold my soul. I can’t wait.

Endo, Storm

Nishi’s laparoscopy confirmed that she has endometriosis, which she has suspected for about a year now. It’s great that we can now move forward in treating it and getting her to feel better, for the first time in years.

While she’s in bed mending, I’ve been firing off job applications left and right. Not sure yet what will pan out, but it’s progressing.

When I talked to my dad today, he mentioned the storm that will be passing through this weekend. He was talking about heading down to Niantic, to stay at my grandfather’s house, which has a generator. I thought about this, and how the bus, in Middletown, is capable of sheltering and sustaining people if the power goes out. It has its own power supply, and can cook food or heat water with propane. I like that it’s already fairly far towards being self sustaining, but it has a lot further it can go.

Jorb’d

I got the job I interviewed for yesterday. I’m not sure I’m going to take it. In fact, I’m becoming increasingly sure I won’t. There are practical reasons not to take it – it’s a commission based job that requires initial investment in the form of time and gas – but I worry there are other reasons at play. My dream job right now is a simple job that makes me happy and doesn’t burden me with much responsibility. This job could be part time, it could be minimum wage. It could be stocking shelves or greeting people at Wal-Mart, as long as it’s a regular source of income. Amazingly, I haven’t been able to get any such job, and I’ve applied to many in the past weeks.

I’m gonna keep looking.