Smooth

Things have smoothed out a bit for us. The job with Hosmer is steady money, I’m getting a few web gigs on the side, and we’re not in a dire situation anymore. It’s amazing how little money it takes to increase the comfort in your life. Once your needs are met, that extra money can be spent on a new hobby, saved for a big project, spent on a night of pizza and pool with friends, or all of the above.

Visiting the Y and exercising regularly has certainly be helping. Not the money situation, but the mental health side of things. It’s one of those stupid things that everyone knows about, yet choses to ignore. Exercise does make you feel better, in many different ways.

Winter has been having it’s last hurrah this week, but hopefully next week will bring more mild weather and work on the bus can begin again.

YMCA

Nishi and I got a membership at the Y this weekend. We got their cushy premium membership, which includes a private locker room, steam room, sauna, whirlpool, and access to the racquetball court. We’ve been swimming laps, which is something I’ve never really done before, with the exception of when I was first learning how to swim. It’s really nice, and I’m already feeling better. That exercise really does wonders for the mind.

Soda man

I got a job with Hosmer Mountain Soda. They found out the clerk who worked at their outlet store had been taking money from the register, and fired him. In need of someone they trusted, they called me and asked if I would be interested. I was, and started shortly after getting back to CT.

It’s an easy job that has plenty of downtime. So far I haven’t been able to use that time too constructively, but I’m starting on a few online classes. One just because it’s interesting, and the other to further develop my web design skills. I’m only doing three days a week at the Soda Shack, so the other four can be devoted to freelance web work.

Steady money from Hosmer, with opportunity for much more on my own terms, is a really nice situation to be in. We were pretty low for a while there, with problems mounting and opportunities dwindling. Friends, family, and fortitude got us through it, and things are looking up again.

There’s a newspaper clipping in the Shack of the obituary of the man who worked there for many many years. Though I don’t think he was ever an owner, he was a dedicated employee of the company, and had the epitaph ‘Soda Man’ put on his headstone. Looks like I landed a -man job after all.

Status

Nishi is working full-time for Ecoparti. I am not working. In theory, I’m using this time to make progress on the bus, but that hasn’t been the case. Money is tight, and we don’t have a lot of what we need. We’re still waiting on some parts to show up.

It’s winter, and 17 degrees outside as I write this. It’s a bit warmer in the day time, but still not friendly to bus work. Two of our three vehicles have been out of commission since June, and the third is in need of serious repair. I’ve applied for a few jobs, had an encouraging interview, but nothing has come of it. I guess it’s my turn to coast for a while. At least one of us is working.

Time is moving by too quickly. Routine is my enemy, I shall not yield. I’m starting to feel old. I feel like I should have a firm grasp of my goals, but I’m still working on getting a handle on what they are. Sometimes there’s lots of benefits to floating around adrift, but I don’t get the sense that this is one of those times.

Living Alone

Nishi is away visiting family for the weekend, and I’m all alone at Miner St. It’s a sudden reminder that I’ve never really lived alone. I’ve always had family or roommates or Nishi. It’s probably a good thing, I’m not very good company. I tried to take today off, and I succeeded in that I was largely unproductive, but I felt awful about myself and I don’t think I successfully recharged my batteries at all.

I think it’s more obvious to me this weekend because I don’t have Mario or Jack with me. Long weekends in the past have usually had at least canine companionship.

I don’t know if I’ve figured out being alone yet.

The Story of Jack the Dog

Jack the dog had a rough start. For reasons we’ll never understand, his first owners treated him like crap. From what we can gather, young men who frequently wore baseball caps kicked him, and hit him with rolled up paper. He spent a year or so with these people before exiting out of the window of a moving car. Originally it was suspected he was thrown, but since he never had a fear of cars and actually loved to hang out the window, it’s possible he jumped. Either way, this was the best change that could have happened to him.

Through concerned people looking out for his best interest, he came to live with a lesbian couple. As scared as he was of men, this was a perfect fit. He spent his first three days with them hiding behind the refrigerator, and a good deal of time longer than that only eating when hand-fed. He slowly grew more comfortable in this new setting, and had something resembling a normal life. He still wasn’t happy to see men, and was terrified of paper or fast moving feet, but he had two people who he felt safe with, and a warm bed to sleep in.

He had lots of happy days with those two, but eventually the couple broke up. Jack went to stay with Kristy, and Nishi started a new life with me. Jack became an outside dog. I first met Jack when Nishi and I took a trip down to see her family. On the way back up, we stopped by Kristy’s to grab some boxes of books. Jack was there, and could hardly believe Nishi had returned. I remember watching them feel each other out, making sure the other hadn’t changed. He was overjoyed to see her again, and they played in the yard before we left. Jack never played with toys or balls like other dogs, he liked to be chased. He was incredibly fast, and would literally run circles around people or other dogs he played with. They ran for a short while, until the time came to say goodbye. Nishi got back in the car, and we started to drive off. Jack ran behind the car, not wanting to let her go again. It was heartbreaking, and I’m impressed to this day that Nishi was able to hold it together and bring him back to the yard.

I saw him again at the airport in Hartford. Kristy was joining the Army, and Jack couldn’t come along. Jack endured a long plane ride filled with lots of strange men and sounds, but came out the other side thrilled to see us. At least, thrilled to see Nishi. He danced circles around her, telling her exactly how happy he was to see her again. He wasn’t sure about me yet, but he was happy enough to let it slide. He didn’t calm down until we got to bed that night. Jack sleeps under the covers – it’s his favourite place. If he’s under a blanket with someone he trusts, he is perfectly content. He usually sleeps between or against someone’s legs, and presses himself in until it’s just right.

He enjoyed his time with us, in our third floor apartment that didn’t allow dogs. He still didn’t like strange men, and loud noises still scared him, but his days were very happy. As fall approached, I saw him sitting in the kitchen one day, shivering. He was a short-haired southern dog after all, so I got him a sweater to keep him warm through the winter. His sweater became his security blanket, and in the cooler months he wore it everywhere.

In March of this year we noticed him starting to favour one of his front legs. He was a very neurotic dog, and would often lift a leg when he walked on wet ground. When he stopped putting weight on it, we brought him to the vet. We couldn’t find anything stuck in his paw and nothing seemed to be broken, so we put him on bed rest to see if it would heal. During this time, we carried him up and down the stairs to go outside. He didn’t put any more weight on that foot, and we brought him back to the vet. We saw a specialist, who told us it was likely a tumor in his shoulder.

Nerve sheath tumors are apparently not uncommon in dogs. They’re also very hard to treat. To operate on it, his leg would need to be amputated, and the recurrence rate of this cancer was relatively high. If we went through with the operation, he would have some months to heal and deal with the pain, learn to use three legs, and it was possible if not probable that the cancer would return.

We didn’t want to put him through this, and though he barely used his front right leg, he did just fine. I have no doubt that if we had operated he would have adjusted to life on three legs just fine. He didn’t let it bother him, and carried on as if nothing had changed. Eventually, his leg did start to hurt him, and he let it show. Sitting in Nishi’s lap, he cried and cried. He cried through the night, and generally wasn’t feeling well.

We had Jack put to sleep yesterday, and we miss him dearly. These are obviously only the details of his life, since the affection and love he showed each day can’t be described to anyone who didn’t directly receive it. We know that we spared him a hard drawn out end, and that we did him a favor by opting for sooner than later, but it’s hard to stomach. I’m sure it would be much easier for us if he was in obvious pain, but he had many more good moments than bad, and we made what we think was the better choice for him. I feel honored to be among the people he loved.

DSC00069

Time Versus Money

The bus project has always been a balance of time and money. Today was a perfect example of this: we needed a certain drill bit to countersink the bolts for the roof deck. Lowe’s, two miles away, had a bit for $35ish. Woodcraft, about a half hour away, had a comparable bit for $12. I made the trip to Woodcraft. I’ve often made the decision to save the time.

Instead of spending lots of time trying to find used tools/components that will work for our needs, I’ve bought many new components. In some cases, this is common sense – we wanted a new mattress to sleep on, and a spotless fresh water tank. But much of what we use could be just fine used. It’s tough to find that balance.

This project has taken far longer than I had intended it to, and it’s starting to stretch the budget. I think if I had held out for some more second hand items, I would have saved a bit of cash, but it would have taken even longer. I’m not sure which is better, but I don’t yet regret my choice. It’s still a constant battle.

Harsh Storm

We had a storm blow through quickly yesterday afternoon, and it took down a large portion of a tree next to the house, as well as my canopy behind the bus.

Broke'd

The canopy was staked down, but not especially well. I can secure it to survive just about any wind, but being in a protected area I just had a couple thin stakes in it to keep it from moving. Only a third of the poles/joints are broken, but it definitely did some major damage. The tree completely missed the house, and just hit the cable/power lines coming in from the street.

Lesson learned: no matter how protected the area, always secure the canopy like the end is coming.

Plugging Away

Still plugging away at the bus. We’re starting construction, and it’s really great to not be doing demolition anymore. We took a bit of a break between the two, and I really needed it. I was very burnt out – I don’t think I’ve ever worked on one project as passionately or for as long as this one. When I wasn’t physically working on the bus, I was on the computer planning and researching. It was too much. I’m a bit more relaxed now, but I’ll probably be at least a bit on edge until the project is actually done.