So I’m wondering why I’m in school again.
Absolutely none of my life goals require me to be here. Its just what I’m supposed to do. I find a lot of it interesting, and I really do like the environment, but seriously – this just doesn’t do anything for me.
In every future job I see myself in, a college degree is not required. That would just be silly.
I’ve told people how I would like to teach, and that is true. But I think that can wait until later in life. Seems to be a waste to throw away the present into years and years of schooling.
I hate thinking like this, because it is always just limited to thought. These thoughts never actually materialize. If I could actually leave school, go take some stupid job that would make me happy, and build my bus, then I wouldn’t feel so bad. But I can’t. At least not yet.
I have a lot of things I want to do with my life. Not a single one requires me to be in anyway wealthy.
So why am I in school?
Intellectual enrichment? No.
I’m stuck in classes that are set by my major, and I get the feeling I will be endlessly filling requirements. God forbid I actually focus on something I would like to learn. This well-rounded education is killing me.
In high school, I pined for focus in what I learned, but I calmed myself with the knowledge that college was different. I’m still pining for focus, and I think grad school will have it. It may.
Maybe we’re supposed to pursue that focus on our own time, and the classes we take are just tools for interpreting what we learn outside of school. There is only one problem with that:
we don’t learn enough outside of school.
My schooling is interfering with my education.
Maybe that is the problem. What I want to learn can’t be taught in a classroom.
I have to go out and do it. And I can’t.
Not yet.