I had yesterday off as a paid holiday. I only get a handful of paid holidays all year, so it was nice to just sit around, and not feel bad about not making money. But it wasn’t a real holiday, at least not in the sense I would like it to be. One of the chief complaints I had about being in school was that downtime was just a period of waiting. You could do some stuff on the side, and even get some interesting stuff achieved, but soon enough you’d have to get back to doing school work and focusing on studies. This kept my mind from seeking larger projects, and kept me thinking and living in the very near future.
Work isn’t quite the same, likely because there is actually less downtime. I don’t have as much time that could otherwise be spent thinking about things I would rather be doing than work. There isn’t the massive summer break which will end. But yesterday just served as a reminder to me of what I’m working towards. I want to be able to get up, and be able to pursue nearly anything, whether it takes 5 minutes or 5 months. Just as school used to loom over my free time, so does work. I want to be free of that, even for a short time.
In between school and work, I was no closer, since the thought of making money to reach both immediate and distant goals was ever present. The last time I felt close to free of things was when we traveled last summer. Though we still had deadlines to meet, and places to be, the time in between festivals was an incredibly free time. Not perfect, but not bad. I think I’ll get there. But in the meantime, I’m not sure I want many more paid vacations.
