Tag: Facial Hair

Behind

It’s officially been a month since I ordered the stovepipe for the bus. The manufacturer has been behind on some parts due to an increased demand, and we’re stuck waiting. Presently, we have all but one piece in our possession. That is all that is holding back the stove installation. It’s frustrating.

I’m feeling behind in many different parts of my life. I feel old, but not experienced. I feel like I’ve missed out on something essential. There are these common cultural experiences people share that are totally foreign to me. I’ve never reveled in my role as an outsider, but I don’t enjoy the mainstream either.

I keep wondering about the hair on my head. Would I be more attractive with less or more hair on my head? My face? It grows in so slow any decision is a major commitment. As it is, it’s all so unsatisfactory. How is it I still have acne while my hair starts thinning?

I’m sure a lot of this has to do with my lack of an occupation. That’s a really appropriate word, since not only do I not have a job, I’m struggling to fill the hours during the day while waiting for this last piece of stove pipe. It’s funny how a few days of doing nothing can so easily lead to weeks of it. I keep dreaming up new projects to occupy myself, but get distracted or disinterested when I realize the scope is grander than the pipe project presently paused. I guess I’m going to keep going through phases of boom and bust.

I do miss writing like this. I frequently compose journal entries while brushing my teeth, but go to sleep never writing them. Unfortunately, I’m not usually in quite as reflective of a mood earlier in the day – this is the prime time. I’m reading Cloud Atlas at the moment, along with Nishi and the other members of our book group. It is told almost entirely through journal entries and correspondence, which has (tonight, at least) compelled me to write.

From what I can tell my fear of missing out isn’t by any means unique, and it doesn’t seem like there will be a point where I’m not familiar with it. I guess I need to learn how to live with it.

Good night.

Physical Changes

I’m growing a beard. Slowly. It’s been about two and a half months, and it still only tenuously meets the definition of a beard. My facial hair just naturally wants to be a goatee, and the rest begrudgingly grows. And today felt like spring, so my time with it may be short. I started growing it in mid-December, and I think I’ll need to start far far sooner in the future.

I’m also really quite out of shape. I’ve started trying to exercise regularly again, though I’m having a bit of trouble with the regular part. I think I just really need to be out and about, and I’ll be fine. I just wither away when I’m working inside, but when I’m out doing things my body takes care of itself. At least I don’t have a desk job, but this lifestyle still isn’t particularly healthy.

As the weather is getting warmer outside, thoughts are drifting towards the bus, and what will happen this spring. It’s exciting, and scary. Our landlord really doesn’t want to see us go, she likes us as tenants. I’m honestly a little reluctant to leave, and I know Nishi feels the same way. It’s a nice apartment, in a nice part of town, and I’m sad we couldn’t spend more time here. The savings will be worth it long term, but it will still be sad to go.

It isn’t clear yet when we’ll be moving out of here and into the bus, but I’m hoping for Juneish. I’m a bit excited about the novelty of parking my new house outside my old one, and only moving things once.

Things are changing quickly.

Good Enough

Alright, it’s not back at its full strength, but it’s good enough. And I’m growing it in fuller this time, not just the goatee. It’s winter, after all. I don’t think it will be an even beard, or even a good looking beard, but it will be my first, and I’ll be happy to greet it when it arrives.

Day 6 of My Emasculation

Ok, it’s not really that bad, but my facial hair is slow to grow, and even after nearly a week I’m still only stubbly. I think it took a month to grow out the goatee originally, and I fear it may take that long again. I’m currently past the cool looking five-o’clock-shadow stubble, and moving towards the awkward high school mustache. I’m considering doing a daily photo until it’s grown out, just to catalog its progression. Might even make one of those snazzy time-lapse gifs.

OhmygodImissmygoateegiveitbacknow

So it’s been nearly 24 hours since I shaved off my facial hair, and I miss it a lot. I keep going to stroke my mustache, or put a hand to my chin, and feeling bare skin where hair should be. This is unpleasant. Nishi was curious about how I looked without facial hair, and I admit I was as well. It’s been a year and a half since I grew it out in the first place, and I’ve gotten very used to seeing it when I look in the mirror. And now that it’s gone I miss it terribly. I hope it doesn’t take too long to come back. A little over a year ago I accidentally trimmed my chin very close, and it wasn’t good, but it grew back over the weekend. I think it will take longer starting from scratch. Until then I guess I’ll keep looking like a Simpson’s character.